okay, so maybe I'm a masochist.</an title>  <style type="text/css"> body{background-color: #ffffe2; font-family: arial; font-size: 8pt; text-decoration: none; line-height: 13px; text-align: justify; color: #666; text-align:justify; cursor: crosshair;} #navbar-iframe{ display:none; } a:link, a:visited, a:active{;-webkit-transition:1s; font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book", sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; text-decoration: none; font-weight: normal; background-color: none; text-transform: none; color: #333; line-height: 120%;} a:hover {font-style: italic; font-weight: normal; text-transform: none; cursor: default; line-height: 120%; cursor: help;} a.affie{color: #fff ; line-height:100%; text-transform: lowercase; font: arial;} blockquote{background-color: #fdfbe7; border-left: 5px dashed #fcc4ca; font-size: 9pt; padding: 10px; color: #444; } blockquote:first-letter{font-family:georgia; font-size:12pt; font-style:italic; color:#fa7887; font-weight:bold;} .title{font: normal 14pt arial; letter-spacing: -1px; text-transform: uppercase; color:#ed7d7c; text-align: right; background: padding: 2px;} .date{font: 8pt arial; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: right; padding: 3px; border-bottom: 1px solid #febeac;} .h6{font: 10pt arial; letter-spacing: 0.5px; color: #fff; border-bottom: 1px solid #f0f0cc; letter-spacing: 2px;} .h6:first-letter{ font-style: italic;} .click{font: bold 15px arial; letter-spacing: -1px; color: #10af9e; line-height: 15px;} .navi1{color: transparent; background-color: #fc8185; position: fixed; top: 95px; left: 620px; padding: 40px 25px 5px 5px; text-align: center; -moz-border-radius: 40px 40px 0px 0px; -webkit-border-radius: 40px 40px 0px 0px; -webkit-transition: 1s;} .navi2{color: transparent; background-color: #fc8185; position: fixed; top: 95px; left: 785px; padding: 40px 25px 5px 5px; text-align: center; -moz-border-radius: 40px 40px 0px 0px; -webkit-border-radius: 40px 40px 0px 0px; -webkit-transition: 1s;} .navi3{padding: 5px; background-color: #fd6a6f; text-align: center; -webkit-transition: 1s;} .navi1:hover{-webkit-transform: rotate(-12deg); -moz-transform: rotate(-12deg);} .navi2:hover{-webkit-transform: rotate(12deg); -moz-transform: rotate(12deg);} .navi3:hover{background-color: #fd9093} </style> <link rel="me" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/14556775380920206298" /> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <script> function changeNavigation(id) {document.getElementById('main').innerHTML=document.getElementById(id).innerHTML} </script> <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/9203382425556202308?origin\x3dhttps://vestige-of-hope.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> <span class="navi1" style="text-decoration: blur" onclick="changeNavigation('profile')">x</span> <span class="navi2" style="text-decoration: blur" onclick="changeNavigation('links')">x</span> <div style="background-color: #ffffbe; padding: 10px; top: 50px; left: 50px; position: absolute; width: 480px; -webkit-box-shadow: 1px 1px 1px 1px #f0f0cc; -moz-box-shadow: 1px 1px 1px 1px #f0f0cc; margin-bottom: 50px;"> <div class="title"></div> <div class="date">Wednesday, April 27, 2011 | 7:38 AM</div> <br> <div style="clear:both;"></div>sometimes i just feel so damn fucking useless. not only was i unable to comfort my friend, i even made my mom cry. what the fuck am i doing. i shouldn't even exist, this kind of unfilial son. i have no idea whats gotten into me, that i have to vent my anger at her. what she says does make sense. the amount of respect she receives at home...its as if she wasn't part of the family at all. its sad to realize that i'm the one guilty for this. she doesn't deserve this. she deserves so much more, yet what the hell am i doing? my father's already fucked up, must i be like him? the hell man. seriously. <div><br /></div><div>and i dunno lah. close friend of mine cried today, and i couldn't do a single shit. why am i so bad with this kind of stuff? its like i want to help them so much, but i just don't know what to do. and all i did was stand there and stared. i swear today was a depressing day. i don't even have the mood to start on my essay. guess what. i'm just gonna skip school tomorrow, and do my essay. for now i'll sleep early. hopefully things would be better tomorrow =)</div><div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div> <br><br> <div class="title"></div> <div class="date">Tuesday, March 1, 2011 | 8:00 AM</div> <br> <div style="clear:both;"></div>Hai world =D<br /><br />Hmmmm today started out fine...although I was damn tired in the morning (like liqi said, we all look damn lifeless) and I was attempting to do my ionic tutorial...and failed miserably cuz I kinda just fell asleep...<br /><br />well but it got better as the day progressed I guess!<br /><br />went to orchard with clement, bryan and nicholas poh after school cuz they wanted to go kino to buy some book, and I was meeting ngiap there anyway, so...haha went to Happy Lemon! I swear the aromatic tea latte is damn good =D but the studying session wasn't as productive as I thought it would be...firstly cuz we ended damn late and secondly, I was attempting to do my maths with half my lecture notes empty =( spent hell a lot of time trying to understand the thingy. hmm.<br /><br />well after that we walked for a bit cuz ngiap needed to buy dennis a present. sigh I realized I haven't met the people from my clique for quite a while already...ahhh reminds me of colin! sigh...<br /><br />anyway when I went on facebook, wenyun posted a link to BWMF'11 's performance =D I honestly was damn touched when I saw it...I dunno how to put it. I think its just this overwhelming sense of achievement, like after 2weeks of hard work, everything paid off! I know I didn't do much luh...but still glad to be able to be part of the BWMF team =D like honestly, I think its gonna be one of the highlights of my J2 life! so I spent like nearly an hour listening to the recording of other houses' performances! HH's arrangement is honestly quite good, even thought I laughed at it the first time I heard it cuz I thought it was uber ripped off (like half the songs were played by the CO before?) too bad MR's performance wasn't recorded, I really liked their summertime.<br /><br />hmm am listening to the joe hisaishi CD which i coped from wenyun...naise! I really like 'merry-go-round of life' and 'spring'. hmm music really brings joy to my life hee so I didn't regret joining rjco. I'd say its one of the best choices I've made in jc, even though I keep joking about getting scammed into joining haha...speaking about music...I'm gonna talk about MF again..actually MF really like gave me an eye-opener to like the tons of damn zai musicians around. Made me realise I'm actually quite nub...like I saw the way john sight-read. I haven't seen a person who could sight-read that well in my life, not even junita! and not only is he good at piano, his cello is good too. My heart just melted when I heard his 'simple gifts'. And theres also selina...actually I can't comment much since I'm not really aware of violin music, but like compared to HH's vionlinist from MF (I heard the recording), she was obviously tons better, like her tone was much more, uhh, femine (?) and soothing, whereas the HH guy sounded quite rough and I swear there was a few times he played out of tune haha!<br /><br />anyway made me really wanna improve myself =D in both piano and percussion...although I'm afraid for piano there's not much I can do already cuz like I realise how screwed I was...like my previous teacher never did teach us finger exercises sigh...so my fingerwork is really quite bad, although I shan't deny that I think my feel on the whole is pretty good =D and for perc there's still loads of room for improvement so yeah =D<br /><br />hmm feeling satisfied now cuz I've just ranted loads and loads =D kayz I shall continue with my damn essay outline-.- cuz I was pracrastinating :( really ought to kick this bad habit!<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div> <br><br> <div class="title">rantings</div> <div class="date">Monday, February 21, 2011 | 6:14 AM</div> <br> <div style="clear:both;"></div>haven't blogged in quite a while. for almost a year? can't remember, just suddenly felt like blogging so here goes! new blog created but unlike my previous blog, i shall keep this one a wee bit more private.<br /><br />just wanna say last week was pretty stressful. nearing the end of the week i was feeling uber angsty. like really damn angsty. don't know what's gotten into me, honestly. i've been through much worse before! and its not like its because of the extra practices due to musicfeste either, so i really don't get why i was feeling so....moodless. about everything. ahhh! and i played like shit on the first practice for musicfeste. there's gonna be another practice tomorrow, but i have yet to receive the score...hope i can sightread it, or practice with the little time i have remaining...<br /><br />do you know how short i am on time? sigh for the whole of last week, and the whole of this week, i won't be reaching home before 9! its kinda insane...plus my term paper is due like on fridayyyyy zomggggg shall try to start on it asap! and i really ought to be revising my work. i guess there's been an improvement, considering how i've started preparing for most tutorials (i slacked for the whole of last year-.-) buuuut i seem to forget the previous topic after we've moved on to the next! i honestly think there isn't enough memory space left inside my brain after the O's...i can still remember most of what i've learnt in secondary school, amazingly. like after we've gone through differentiation, my teacher gave me a test on power series and wow. i've forgotten how to do it-.- even though i aced through the tutorial-.- sigh<br /><br />well. i guess that's it for now. still waiting for my scores to be sent to me...hope she's online soon. i really wanna have a good look at it before practice tomorrow.<br /><br />hmm i hope this blog stays permanent...even though my other one died a longggg time ago...because i think i might need it in the (near) future for even more rantings. hmm. kayz shal attempt to start my term paperrrr...goodnight world =))<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div> <br><br> </div> <div id="main" style="color: fff; position: fixed; background-color: #fc8185; left: 580px; top: 145px; width: 240px; padding: 20px; text-align: justify; margin-bottom: 10px; -webkit-border-radius: 60px 60px 60px 60px; -moz-border-radius: 60px 60px 60px 60px;"> <br><br> <div style="padding-left: 60px;"> <span style="-webkit-border-radius: 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px; background: #fff; color: transparent; padding: 10px;">x</span> <span style="-webkit-border-radius: 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px; background: #fff; color: transparent; padding: 10px; margin-left: 65px;">x</span> </div> <div style="padding-left: 85px; padding-top: 45px;"> <span style="-webkit-border-radius: 0px 0px 50px 50px; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 50px 50px; padding: 10px 50px 10px 10px; background: #fff; color: #fff;">x</span> <br> </div> </div> <div id="profile" style="display: none;"> <div class="h6">Lovely one</div><br> Just your average teenage student.<br> <br><br><br> <center><span class="navi3" style="text-decoration: blur" onclick="changeNavigation('bunny')">★ back to bunny face ★</span></center> <br> </div> <div id="links" style="display: none;"> <div class="h6">Affiliates</div><br> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">Link</a> <br><br> <div class="h6">Credits</div><br> Layout by <a class="affie" href="http://blogskins.com/me/rainymartini">rainy</a><a class="affie" href="http://www.sixthsicksheep.info">martini</a><br> Hello. 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